A Man and a Woman are sitting in a café talking. Suddenly, a Hysterical Man runs in.
Hysterical Man: Everything that was foretold is true! The apocalypse is here!
He runs out again. The Man and Woman are barely affected.
Woman: Do you reckon that’s true?
Man: But… in case it is. (Pause) I know we said we’d always only be friends.
Woman: It wasn’t a strict rule, or anything.
Man: I know. But. At the time. I couldn’t say what. What I wanted to say. I have. All these things I need to express to you. Feelings. I just need to say them now. In case. In case that man is right. It would be a tragedy if these things went unsaid.
Woman: What do you want to say?
Man: I wish I could just say it. I wish it would just roll off my tongue.
Woman: Tell me. Please tell me. I might you know. Feel. Similarly.
Man: I.I. (Pause) Never mind.
Woman: Right. Course.
He is crushed. She is disappointed.
Suddenly, a bright orange light bathes them and a sound of thousands of wasps fills the air. It is the apocalypse.
Man: Oh. (He looks at Woman) Shite.
Alex’s play Casting Call will be performed as part of Now We Are Three from 20-24 August at Southwark Playhouse. More info
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