Playellas are Descent’s series of tiny plays for your new writing quick fix.
A Brief Bereavement by Andrew Turner
A local church crammed with people.
Enter Enid and Bernie, both late sixties, rotund women who are well dressed in all black. They pause for a second to survey the church and look for a vacant pew
Enid: I told you we should have got here earlier.
Bernie: We’re alright Enid, this ones free. I don’t want to be too near the front anyway in case there’s audience participation.
Enid: At a funeral?
Bernie: They’re Methodists, they’ve some funny ideas. It’s all denim jeans and make friends with Jesus.
Enid cranes her neck to look down the aisle at the packed church
Enid: Not a bad turn-out is it? Very respectable.
Bernie: Don’t kid yourself. Half of ’em are only here for the buffet afterwards.
Enid: Still it’s the thought that counts. And they’ve done the church up lovely.
Bernie: I prefer the crematorium myself. You’re in and out. I hope this doesn’t drag on too long. What’s it say in the Order of Service.
Enid leafs through the thin pamphlet
Enid: Prayers and Introductions, followed by All things bright and beautiful, my favourite. Then there’s a reading by Cousin Barry of ‘Do not stand at my grave and weep.’
Bernie: Well that’ll be interesting in a Midlands accent… Still, if it’s what you want.
Enid: (Firmly) It is.
Bernie: I’m just saying…It’s your funeral.
Andrew’s play Room for Improvement will be performed as part of Descent Shorts on the 7th February at the Cockpit Theatre in Marylebone. More info
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